So, there’s this little conference (maybe you’ve heard about it) called BlogHer.  If you are a blogger, you know what I’m talking about.  If not…

It’s held in New York City this year – primarily aimed at female bloggers – and I am lucky enough to be attending it in just a few more days.  It’s huge. No, really, HUGE. We are talking over 7000 bloggers, PR types, and sponsors. Taking up multiple levels of The Hilton. For two days. (And this doesn’t even include all the “private” parties and events being held for 4 days or so, all over NYC.

I’m really pretty excited to go. I have this new site set up, so I won’t be embarrassed to say where I blog.  I have spiffy new business cards.  I even found one or two cute outfits to strut in.

But…

There are some social aspects of the conference that give me that “what the hell was I thinking” feeling.

First – How do you say hello to a blogger?  I’ve been to a few conferences like this already, but you always have this problem.  I mean, you tweet, you facebook, you comment on their posts – all never even having to look eachother in the eye.  I might have “talked” to you a dozen times or more, but still, what do you say when you meet in real life?

“Ummmm, haaaaiii.  I’m Mandy.  Um, I mean, Last Minute Mandy, on twitter.  Ummmm, I follow you.  You know…on twitter.  But I don’t read your blog.  Well, I have, but not a lot.  Just cause I don’t have time.  Not that it isn’t totally awesome, it’s just, there are so many hours in a day.  Uhhhh.  Yeah.  Soooooo….”

Right.

And what’s the physical protocol?  Do you shake hands?  Do that awkward hand-waving-hi thing?  HUG?  I totally would hug it out with 95% of the people I’ll meet.  Yes, I am ignoring you other 5%.  Save the drama for your mama.

But, not all of the 95%, even want to be hugged. There are some bloggers that are even tackle worthy, but they don’t want you to suffocate them, so that’s not a good plan either.  I could try to stalk them in a bathroom the whole conference, but then I’m sure one of the “gems” in the 5% would blog about me having some kind of explosive diarrhea.

Not what I want to be known for.

And what if there is a really sweet woman who actually does want to hug it out with you, who even has read your blog, but you don’t have the slightest clue who on God’s green earth twitter she is.  Yeah, obvisously I’m gonna go for the hug.  Then muddle through.

These awkward situations don’t even include:

1. My total lack of fashion sense – in the mecca of all things fashion, no less.
2. My inability to class it up and put heels on.  Unless I want a pic of my ankles around my ears on facebook.  Which, for the record, I probably don’t.  Yet.
3. Bad breath.  Bound to happen.  Just sayin.
4. Not knowing a soul.  Well, I mean, knowing a few, but no one who is going to buy me a cheese bra or anything.
5. The fact that my husband and kids will be there.  If it’s 2 am, and Mommy is at BarHer taking shots – is that a bad thing?  Do I need to feel guilt about this?  Do I *gasp* come home before midnight???
6. Cramps.  I hate you mother nature.

Yeah.  See?  Issues?  I gots them.

But, either way, I’ll be at BlogHer.  Ready to give you the best awkward hello … of. your. life.