Diets.

Meh.

Diets suck.

Oh wait…I’m suppossed to be living a “life change,” not a diet.

But, you know what?  That’s bullshit.

I didn’t change my life.  I mean, not completely.  Not yet.

I still want to eat bread & butter like it’s my job.  I think anything I eat after midnight has no calories.  I still think peanut butter is the goo of the gods and that cantalope is complete crap.

None of that is going to change overnight…or even anytime soon.

I mean, really…who the hell wakes up one morning and goes, “HOLY FUCK!  I no longer want to eat movie theater popcorn or french fries!  I can’t stand the sight of cookies!  If I don’t get a plate full of spinach right now I’m going to die!”

 

 

 

Um, no one.  No one says that.  Ever.

And who wants to be like that!?

{Dude, if you even thought the answer might be me, you obviously have no idea how much I lust after movie theater popcorn.  Me and movie theater popcorn are bffs and if you try to take it away from me I might get stabby.  No joke…I once tried to go a whole movie without it and I left the theater in a cold sweat.  Crying.  Possibly with full on detox symptoms.}

I definitely don’t want to be like that…mostly because I think I would go crazy.  Not that healthy food drives me over the edge, but completely illiminating food from my diet does.  (Again, not even kidding.  When I tried to do Atkins I nearly killed my husband.  With bacon.)  Maybe one day, down the line, I will think that the plate of spinach looks more appealing than the burger.  That’d be awesome!  But, I can’t just force that breakthrough.  That’s a battle that has to be fought.  And when it’s won, hopefully it will make that spinach taste even better.

My point:  I don’t like diets, though I’m all for trying to eat better.  It’s a difficult thing to create better eating habits. I’m still trying though, just as long as I don’t have to give up the popcorn.

That you can take from my cold dead buttery hands.