Posts Tagged ‘cool stuff’

Listen to your mother

Posted January 21, 2012 Mom Media 2 Comments

 

I saw a tweet the other day for a fantastic production called Listen to Your Mother.

 

These women are putting themselves out there and presenting us with what seems like, on the surface, simple stories from their lives as mothers.  They start out normally enough, but somehow along the way, they transform into the beautifully woven tales of heartbreak, and humor, and motherhood.

And I watch them and I cry, then laugh, then cry, then laugh some more.  Then, cry a lot more.  And the whole while I’m thinking, “Me Too! Me too!  I feel the exact same way too!  I’ve said “mother fucker” a thousand times!  I hate minivans too!  It breaks my heart to watch my kids fail too!”

So you can understand why, when I saw the tweet that was announcing auditions for the upcoming local version of this show, I was extremely intrigued, yet riddled with doubt.

I would love to audition!  But, am I funny/poignant/eloquent/brave enough?  Would I be able to get the thoughts in my head out into one coherent story and then relate that to an audience of people sitting in front of me?  If I can barely gulp down the fact that 3 real life people read my blog, would I be able to speak my truths in front of who knows how many more?

(And then, there are the more…um, physical issues as well.  What if I burp into the microphone?  What if I do the really ugly cry where I have snot running down my nose?  That would be so awesome.)

I just don’t know.  I wish I did.   I do know that I feel as though I never fully get out what I want to say here.  I simply don’t ever have enough time to thoroughly compose and tweak and edit a post before my eyes start to droop.  So I feel like, if I gave myself enough time, I could compose something that was pretty darn good.  Maybe.

But really, what’s the worse that could happen?  No?  Yeah, um, I get that all the time.

Maybe it’s time I follow the advise I give to my girls and just try…cause you never know unless you do, right?

 

10, 9, 8, oh crap…

Posted January 6, 2012 Life 5 Comments

I’ve got about 10 minutes to post in order to beat the NaBloPoMo deadline.  Will I make it!?

I can’t think of a topic.  (Hence why I took so long.)

tick….9

I post to twitter.  “Someone save me!”  Kristen throws me a life line…”Do a tick tock theme.”  (Someone remind me to buy some of her cookies or something.)

tock….8

Stop playing Hot Donut.  You’re phone will be there in a minute. (But. Must. Jump. River!)

tick…7

Yes, the yoga video is hilarious.  Watch it again.  No problem.  Namaste muthafucka!

tock…6

Don’t look at pintrest!  That’s like the black whole of internet time!

 

tick…5

Oh….look…squirel!  (Insert reference to “hiding under your porch because I love you” and hope that some other “Up” lover will get the reference cause you don’t have enough time to find a picture to embed.)

tock…4

Husband!  Stop your effin’ snoring!  I can’t blog with all that sawing going on over there.  For the love of my eardrums!

tick…3

All of a sudden I really want an orange tick tack.  Don’t even try to give me one of those nasty green ones.  They are the color of doctor’s scrubs and they taste like grass.

tock…2

I wonder if husband will be pissed that I threw him under the “you snore like a lumberjack” log.  (See that little tie in?  Brilliant, no?)  I will smooth it over by telling you that I also snore.  So. Not. Sexy.

tick….1

Revel in my Speedy McBloggyness.  Look at the header – I’m a last-minute mommy.  I get shit done.  Last minute, yes, but it happens.  And my time stamp shows when I start…so there.

And for sticking around, I will gift you the best stuffed animal/landshark impression making device, evah…

You’re welcome.  And goodnight, muthafucka!

 

If you really knew me.

Posted December 21, 2011 Life No Comments

This isn’t a funny post.  It’s kinda preachy too.  But, you’ll deal…

I admit it – I’m sitting here watching MTV.  Reality shows on MTV at that.  But, I’m okay with it, because I think I may have found the most productive show MTV has created – “If You Really Knew Me.”  Have you heard of it?  Here’s the description from the website:

“Like a reality version of The Breakfast Club, each episode of If You Really Knew Me takes place at a different high school, and follows five students from different cliques as they go through the life-changing experience of Challenge Day, a one-day program that breaks down the walls between cliques, and completely changes the way students view their school and each other. Watch the amazing transformation each week as new students open up for the first time and try to change by revealing who they really are, behind the cliques and the labels.”

One activity that the kids do (that shares the title of the show) simply has them finish the sentence, “If you really knew me…” In a small group of their peers, these kids open up to each other – share experiences and feeling that they otherwise would have kept inside. Kept inside and let simmer.  Then let boil.  And then…run over? Turn into something worse, like depression or worse still?

In another activity, there is a line, and if they fit a certain category that is called out, the kids cross it.  So, “cross the line if you have ever been bullied.” “If you have been made fun of for the way you look.”  “If you have ever had your childhood taken from you.”

Wow.

These kids open up.  They let it out.  They get supported.  They get heard.  They see that others are dealing with the exact same thing.

Now, I’m not naive.  I’m sure some of them are being fake.  Or putting on a show for the camera.  And maybe the “high” of that day wears off quickly.  But, I’d like to think – and I hope – that it doesn’t.  That, the kids take the lessons they learned and carry them forward into adulthood.

What if you would have done a Challenge Day?  Would your high school days have been different?  Or your adult days?

I really hope my girls will have something like this when they get to high school.  I hope it becomes mandatory for all schools.  Hell, I wish this was mandatory NOW – for families, for friends, for anyone in a community – to sit down and periodically just open up every now and again..  So we could all just freaking get along.

And really?  Really, the blogoshpere could use it too.  Oh yes, we know this to be true.  Yeah, we are pretty open about who we are…but there are still clicks, and drama, and labeling, and bullying.  Mmmmm, hmmm.  Bucket fulls.

And it’s all so…high school.  Because we are more alike than we are different.  Because I’m pretty sure a lot of you are a lot like me, and that I’m a lot like you.

If you only really knew me…

Brain Dump

Posted November 25, 2011 Life 2 Comments

 

Today I will do a brain dump.  Lucky you…

I’m still in a food coma from yesterday.  Thanksgiving was awesome.  We all wore turkey leg hats…all 11 of us.  It was beautiful.  My husband makes kick ass mashed potatoes, and cauliflower tastes amazing in a cheese bechamel sauce.  As most things rightfully do.

Squealing like a mermaid after staring blankly at someone for 10 seconds will get a whole room to erupt in laughter.

I’m also slightly traumatized by the fact that I left all my leftover turkey at mom’s house.  (em effer!!!)

And my kids have been around their friends (whom we love) all day, but they are sick and now I can’t help but be overly paranoid that my super asthmatic child is going to come down with the death cold.  Please, please, please, oh germ fairies, let my child not be touched with some black plague that will make her need orapred and 24hr nebs and scary “she looks like she needs the ER” moments.

I was going to go black friday shopping, but then I realized I’m not an idiot.

I saw Aurthur’s Christmas instead.  It was very funny and way good.  But due to the fact that I’m now a “fem-nazi” I have to mention two totally unnecessary moments: 1) “I’d like to thank my wife for cooking and cleaning and doing all the other things that wife’s do when their husbands are away at work.”  Suck it Santa.  Mrs. Clause totally owned you in the movie anyway.   2)  “That was back when we thought it was ridiculous to teach women how to read.”  Really!?  Even the two 9-year-olds I was with were completely offended by this.

I started this post at 11:58.  While it is now technically another day, I have not yet gone to sleep, so I still count it as today.  That’s Mandy logic.  Welcome to my world.  (My husband and I have this debate all the time.  It will still be today, and not tomorrow, even if I do go to sleep and wake up at 4 am.  Cause I’m not up for good yet.  It’s just how my brain works.  Deal.)  Also, I’m totally back dating this post to 11:59 on the 25th cause I sure as hell didn’t write 24 posts in a row to blow it now.  So there.

 

Giving Thanksgiving

Posted November 13, 2011 Life, Mom Media No Comments

 

I know bloggers can sometimes be catty and bitchy and greedy and down right obnoxious.

But sometimes they do something bigger than all of the internet drama.  And it makes me feel a little ray of hope that we are not all just egotistic idiots here for clicks and fans.

 

 

Scary Mommy has done such a thing.  She is matching up people who don’t have enough money for Thanksgiving with those that are lucky to have an abundance.

Let them eat turkey!

Boobs and Miss Representation

Posted November 11, 2011 Life, Mom Media, Parenting 4 Comments

 

I was watching “Once Upon A Time” on ABC with my daughters the other day.  I figured it might be okay for the 3 of us to enjoy together, as it is roughly based on fairy tales.  (Honestly, in hindsight, I probably should have known better, but I digress.) In my defense, the show was pimped in mini blurbs and commercials on Disney Channel – so figured it would be okay for roughly the same audience.  Knowing that it was network tv, during primetime, I expected a couple of words I wasn’t a fan of, but I wasn’t expecting to be hit over the head with this one thing.

Boobs.

Okay, it’s true, I’m all for the boobs.  Being an avid breast cancer fighter I talk about them a lot, but there is a time and place for everything.  And I didn’t expect this time or this place to be this….well, boobalicious.

“Mom, look at her BOOBS!  They’re HUGE!  Like big oranges that are popping out of her dress!”

Um, yeah, I couldn’t really argue, because they really, really were.  The fairy had a pair that could barely be contained.  Even the wicked witch at one point had a … uhhh… cup that overfloweth.  We were yelling at the tv, “Get some clothes on, Lady!”

Really?  Do I need that much boobage in my face in a fairytale story?  If I’m being fair, honest-to-goodness fairtales are of the same variety.

 

 

Jasmin?  Mid-drift baring off the sholder top.  Ariel?  Strappless bikini top.  And is that a whole lot of cleavage I spy on Belle?

All of this makes me wonder what my girls are learning from media.  Do they think boobs are key for a baby’s nourishment, or do they think they are “sexy.”  Do they think they need to show off theirs if they want to find a prince?

You should know that I’m not at all a media nazi.  I allow my daughter to say the word “boobs,” so that should speak to my not-so-prudishness.  We have moved out of the rated-G-only phase of life.  Heck, I still believe that those princesses still have timeless tales to tell.

I just think we need to have a conversation with our girls.  An ongoing conversation. Do they think anyone actually looks like one of those princesses?  Should you sit around waiting for your prince to come?  Can the princess save the day without the help from the guy?  Will the princesses eventually be Queens and rule the land?  Do we really need this much boob?!

To that end, I have an assignment for you all.  Tomorrow, at 11 a.m. on the OWN network, a wonderful film will be playing that speaks to all of these issues.  Miss Representation is a film that “challenges the media’s limited and often disparaging portrayals of women and girls, which make it difficult for women to achieve leadership positions and for the average woman to feel powerful herself.”

Some of you may be thinking, “Hell yeah, womanhood, I’ll be watching this bad boy for sure!”  And others may be thinking, “Okay crazy feminist liberal wacko.”   To this I say, just watch the movie.

When you do, come back here and tell me what you think.  Are we sending the right messages?  Are we representing women accurately?

Do we really, for goodness sake, need this freaking much boob?

 

 

This Dog Kicks Ass

Posted November 10, 2011 Life 2 Comments

 

This morning my husband and I were walking into a restaurant and saw this in the parking lot:

 

 

Hilarious.  And awesome.

(He is only a 10-month-old puppy – a King Shepard.  Either that, or he is a person in a giant dog costume.  I really can’t say for sure.)

Please add your captions below and have a super rad day.

Dog Crates Rock

Posted November 5, 2011 Life 5 Comments

 

I have just a few thoughts for today…

1.  I’m really glad my friend had a huge dog crate so I didn’t have to buy it myself.  (Those em effers are ridiculously expensive.)

(1.1. An added sub-thought … it drives me crazy when people spell ridiculous as rediculous.  I’m a horrendous speller, but I have a bee in my bonnet about that one.)

2.  I needed this break:

 

 

 

3.  I’m not in the slightest bit concerened that my dog has laser beams for eyes.  I mean, it’s just one more reason why my dog is both crazy and kicks ass.

Happy weekend!

3-day Quilt Raffle

Posted September 2, 2011 Life 4 Comments

 

 

**Update to the post below:  The winners were picked 10/14.  Alverna and Paula will give 2 of these lovely quilts a great home.  Thank you so much to all of you for your interest and support.  And thanks again, Mom, for donating your beautifully crafted masterpieces!**

 

I am so excited to announce a little something that I cooked up with my Mama!!  Well, she did most of the cookin’, but I’m happy to do the announcing!

 

 

(My sister is on the left and my Mom on the right.  And as you can tell, they support my 3-day efforts 100%!  This is them cheering on walkers day 2 of the 2010 DC 3-day.  Love them!)

Other than willing to standing on the corner looking like a feather head, she does so many wonderful things….one of which is making beautiful quilts for various charities.  And she has offered me some of her creations to raffle off for my fundraising efforts!

Check these babies out:

 

 

Some of the edges weren’t finished when we photographed them, but I’m sure you get the idea of how cute they are.  (Update: Mom said she already sold the teal quilt that is above all the way to the right.  Also, the turtle and cowboy quilt are baby sized, and the remaining quilts are known as “lap” size.   And all of them are adorable!)

 

 

I seriously love them and am considering stealing some for my own…but (sighhhhh) I guess I will leave them for you all instead.  But if you win, you must promise to give them a good home!

 

Here is the deal:

*  Donate $5 to my 3-day fundraising account and you will be entered into the raffle.  Every extra $5 you donate is another entry.

*  In the “Personal note to participant” section make sure you mention the quilts, otherwise I’ll think you want nothing in return. ;)

*  If you win, you will get to pick one of these 5 lovely quilts to call your own!  (And I promise they will be all finished up and lovely too.  Mom wouldn’t stand for putting an unfinished product in the mail…trust me!)

*  There will be TWO winners!

 

And remember, if I raise just $240 more, then I will be posting pictures of me with pink hair, along side Riley’s pink hair, and Sara’s (the total pink hater) bit of pink hair too!

So go buy now and get me to my goal!

Thank you!!

Bloggy Super Heroes

Posted July 10, 2011 Fitness No Comments

I know lots of bloggy super heroes.  They may look like every day people when you see them on the street and they may not wear capes or masks or lycra…but they have super powers.  They fight for good and justice and for you and for me.

I know of a blogger who is hosting a virtual walk/run to help but an end to childhood abuse.

I know of a blogger who saw a way to make our community stronger and went for it, in a huge way.

I know of so many different bloggers who tell the world with every post that fitness isn’t a certain size or look or feel.  Its in our thoughts and our deeds.

I haven’t even scratched the surface.  There are so many, and I love what they – what YOU – do for us all.

Come, help me celebrate the super hero in all of us (blogger or otherwise) this Monday – tomorrow – at 1:30 on twitter.  Join with me as I host the #fitblog hash – we talk about using our super powers for good!

Grab your cape, and meet me at fitblogchats.com or your favorite twitter app.  Sidekicks are welcome too!

If you miss out on the chat, the chat with be archived so you can see what you missed.

Up, up and awayyyyyy!

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