Posts Tagged ‘last-minute-ness’

Uncertainty

Posted March 1, 2012 Life, Parenting 3 Comments

 

Uncertainty.  Ahhh, that little thorn in my side.

I can’t stand uncertainty, yet my whole life is governed by it.  It’s the way of all of us last-minute mommies, is it not?

 

Will I make it to the event on time?  I don’t know! How exciting!

Will I finish making the Easter basket before the sun comes up?  Not quite sure!  Stressful racing of the clock is fun!

Will I totally ruin my kids for life?  Just have to wait and see!!! Wheeeeee!

 

I have no idea what I’m doing 90% of the time, yet I hate uncertainty.  It makes me break out in hives and get twitchy.

Today is a good example – I was driving all over town to try to find Scooby Doo birthday invitations.  Uncertain of where to look, three stores later, I hadn’t found them.  Not one Scooby/Mystery Machine/70′s invitation to be found.  Blasphemy!!  (But, on the plus side, I realized it was totally possible to have an inner monolog running in the voice of Scooby Doo…)

Rut-roh!  No rinritations here reither!?  Rut rill re roo?!

{Yeah.  I’m uncertain of what I just said too.}

Cut to a few hours later and I’m in a huge party store – with kids in tow – that I was certain would have the invitations.  Yeah, no such luck.  And what happens?   The kid decides, upon seeing theme after theme of items that they did actually have, that she is uncertain of what she wants anymore.

Roooooooooh Nooooooo!

Seriously, kid?  I’ve been driving all around God’s creation, spending hours of my life, looking for this special thing to make you happy… and now you’re not sure?

*twitch.  twitch.*

Uncertainty strikes again!!!

 

I think, though, it’s pretty hard to be certain when you’re a parent.  You can’t be certain that you are doing the right thing.

Ever.

We always question ourselves.  Did we help enough?  Did we step back enough?  Did we encourage?  Were we firm?  Did I let her eat too many jelly beans?  Was letting her stay up that late a horrible decision?  Should I fight for her harder?  Should I coach her more?  Do I let her embarrass herself?  Should I force feed the squash down her throat?  Should I cave and get the cell phone?  Does she need more independence?  How can I be certain she is safe?  Will my job ever be done?

Parenting is one big ugly ball of uncertainty.  And so many of those questions we ask as parents will never be answered.  But I think that’s probably a good thing.  As much as I hate not knowing what is coming next, or where I’m going, or what I’m going to do, it’s probably a life saver in my job as a parent.  It makes me constantly assess, and change, and grow.

Because I know one thing for certain – if they keep growing and changing, then I need to grow and change along with them.  Otherwise I will be overrun within minutes.  And I certainly don’t want that to happen.

 

 

Listen to your mother

Posted January 21, 2012 Mom Media 2 Comments

 

I saw a tweet the other day for a fantastic production called Listen to Your Mother.

 

These women are putting themselves out there and presenting us with what seems like, on the surface, simple stories from their lives as mothers.  They start out normally enough, but somehow along the way, they transform into the beautifully woven tales of heartbreak, and humor, and motherhood.

And I watch them and I cry, then laugh, then cry, then laugh some more.  Then, cry a lot more.  And the whole while I’m thinking, “Me Too! Me too!  I feel the exact same way too!  I’ve said “mother fucker” a thousand times!  I hate minivans too!  It breaks my heart to watch my kids fail too!”

So you can understand why, when I saw the tweet that was announcing auditions for the upcoming local version of this show, I was extremely intrigued, yet riddled with doubt.

I would love to audition!  But, am I funny/poignant/eloquent/brave enough?  Would I be able to get the thoughts in my head out into one coherent story and then relate that to an audience of people sitting in front of me?  If I can barely gulp down the fact that 3 real life people read my blog, would I be able to speak my truths in front of who knows how many more?

(And then, there are the more…um, physical issues as well.  What if I burp into the microphone?  What if I do the really ugly cry where I have snot running down my nose?  That would be so awesome.)

I just don’t know.  I wish I did.   I do know that I feel as though I never fully get out what I want to say here.  I simply don’t ever have enough time to thoroughly compose and tweak and edit a post before my eyes start to droop.  So I feel like, if I gave myself enough time, I could compose something that was pretty darn good.  Maybe.

But really, what’s the worse that could happen?  No?  Yeah, um, I get that all the time.

Maybe it’s time I follow the advise I give to my girls and just try…cause you never know unless you do, right?

 

10, 9, 8, oh crap…

Posted January 6, 2012 Life 5 Comments

I’ve got about 10 minutes to post in order to beat the NaBloPoMo deadline.  Will I make it!?

I can’t think of a topic.  (Hence why I took so long.)

tick….9

I post to twitter.  “Someone save me!”  Kristen throws me a life line…”Do a tick tock theme.”  (Someone remind me to buy some of her cookies or something.)

tock….8

Stop playing Hot Donut.  You’re phone will be there in a minute. (But. Must. Jump. River!)

tick…7

Yes, the yoga video is hilarious.  Watch it again.  No problem.  Namaste muthafucka!

tock…6

Don’t look at pintrest!  That’s like the black whole of internet time!

 

tick…5

Oh….look…squirel!  (Insert reference to “hiding under your porch because I love you” and hope that some other “Up” lover will get the reference cause you don’t have enough time to find a picture to embed.)

tock…4

Husband!  Stop your effin’ snoring!  I can’t blog with all that sawing going on over there.  For the love of my eardrums!

tick…3

All of a sudden I really want an orange tick tack.  Don’t even try to give me one of those nasty green ones.  They are the color of doctor’s scrubs and they taste like grass.

tock…2

I wonder if husband will be pissed that I threw him under the “you snore like a lumberjack” log.  (See that little tie in?  Brilliant, no?)  I will smooth it over by telling you that I also snore.  So. Not. Sexy.

tick….1

Revel in my Speedy McBloggyness.  Look at the header – I’m a last-minute mommy.  I get shit done.  Last minute, yes, but it happens.  And my time stamp shows when I start…so there.

And for sticking around, I will gift you the best stuffed animal/landshark impression making device, evah…

You’re welcome.  And goodnight, muthafucka!

 

Brain Dump

Posted November 25, 2011 Life 2 Comments

 

Today I will do a brain dump.  Lucky you…

I’m still in a food coma from yesterday.  Thanksgiving was awesome.  We all wore turkey leg hats…all 11 of us.  It was beautiful.  My husband makes kick ass mashed potatoes, and cauliflower tastes amazing in a cheese bechamel sauce.  As most things rightfully do.

Squealing like a mermaid after staring blankly at someone for 10 seconds will get a whole room to erupt in laughter.

I’m also slightly traumatized by the fact that I left all my leftover turkey at mom’s house.  (em effer!!!)

And my kids have been around their friends (whom we love) all day, but they are sick and now I can’t help but be overly paranoid that my super asthmatic child is going to come down with the death cold.  Please, please, please, oh germ fairies, let my child not be touched with some black plague that will make her need orapred and 24hr nebs and scary “she looks like she needs the ER” moments.

I was going to go black friday shopping, but then I realized I’m not an idiot.

I saw Aurthur’s Christmas instead.  It was very funny and way good.  But due to the fact that I’m now a “fem-nazi” I have to mention two totally unnecessary moments: 1) “I’d like to thank my wife for cooking and cleaning and doing all the other things that wife’s do when their husbands are away at work.”  Suck it Santa.  Mrs. Clause totally owned you in the movie anyway.   2)  “That was back when we thought it was ridiculous to teach women how to read.”  Really!?  Even the two 9-year-olds I was with were completely offended by this.

I started this post at 11:58.  While it is now technically another day, I have not yet gone to sleep, so I still count it as today.  That’s Mandy logic.  Welcome to my world.  (My husband and I have this debate all the time.  It will still be today, and not tomorrow, even if I do go to sleep and wake up at 4 am.  Cause I’m not up for good yet.  It’s just how my brain works.  Deal.)  Also, I’m totally back dating this post to 11:59 on the 25th cause I sure as hell didn’t write 24 posts in a row to blow it now.  So there.

 

Balance is a 7 letter word

Posted November 7, 2011 Life 2 Comments

 

Today’s NaBloPoMo promt is “how do you balance your children, relationship, and work life?”

Meh.

I’m not really feeling this prompt. Mostly because I have no clue how to answer it.  I’m not that great at time management.

Ahem…Last Minute Mommy.  It’s not a random name, that’s for sure.

I wish I could spend more time with my husband that didn’t involve talking about bills or parenting.  And having more time with my kids in which I wasn’t being a homework slave driver would be nice as well.

When I’m planning my girl scout meetings, I do so on the day of.  And I’ll clean the house that day too.  Seriously, the kids will be walking in minutes after I vaccum.  (And yes, I have realized that this is pretty much pointless.  Whatever.)

If I was even semi-decent at the balancing act, I would be much closer to a “perfect mom” role.

But then, that would be pretty damn boring.

And I wouldn’t have all the stories that I do.

And then the stress of keeping that up would be crushing.

So yeah, balancing it all out?  I’ve got no clue, and I’m okay with that.

Because I am a Last Minute Mommy.

The end.

 

Cirque Du Soleil = awesome.

Posted April 21, 2011 Life, Mom Media 4 Comments

I’ve always kinda wanted to go to a Cirque Du Soleil show.  It seemed like it would be a great show, but, let’s be honest – if I were to take my whole family, it would cost an arm and a leg.  Plus, the husband never really seemed too willing.  (If I told him they were doing a rendition of Star Wars…or were paying homage to the nfl, then maybe….not so much a show that came from Canada.  Cause we all know those Canadians are to blame for all the wrongs in the world.) We even looked into adding it on to a future Disney World trip, but again, arm + leg = back burner.

 

Then, I happened upon a last-minute (eh-hem…destined) giveaway to the Totem show for Wednesday night, in Baltimore.  I entered (a simple tweet and facebook mention) and went off to the Aquarium.  It didn’t even occur to me that I might have a chance of sitting under the big yellow and blue tent we passed by off the side of I-95.  But low and behold, I come home (exhausted) to find out I won 4 tickets to see Cirque Du Soleil Totem in back in Baltimore for the very next night!

I was a bit worried going in, because we found a few reviews of the Baltimore location saying that the site was bad – parking was a mess, poor neighborhood, blah blah.  But, we didn’t see any of that.  We got there a half hour before showtime and parking was a breeze. The neighborhood seemed fine – especially since the parking area was fenced and there were plenty of security around. (And as someone who frequented Baltimore in college – and got lost frequently too, this neighborhood was a whole heck of a lot nicer than what some sections of the city are.)  Even going out of the lot was easy since we spent the half hour after the show checking out the merchandise.  Just know that the whole production is set up on what looks to be an old factory lot – but even so, you get nicer flushing portable bathrooms, decent concessions, and a bar.  Score.

We had a small snafu with the tickets – seems they wouldn’t scan – but the Cirque people were all about helping us get the problem solved.  They concierge even walked us to our seats to make sure we didn’t miss the opening act – and we ended up with even better seats after it all went down.  Well, minus the one guy with an abnormally large head that I got stuck behind for half the show, but that’s beside the point…

 

I was a bit worried if it would appeal to all my crew…but I think it really did.  The husband was amused – he even said he enjoyed it!  And the 8-going-on-18-year-old was captivated by all the stunts as well.  My little 6-year-old was in awe for the entirety too.  And I was all a-gasp at each dare-devil, yet artfully displayed stunt.  The costumes were amazing, the set was brilliantly set up so that all seats had a fantastic view, and even though the plot was kinda non-existant, I really couldn’t have cared less.  It was wonderful!

A big thanks to Momzshare for the seats.  But, just fyi, I was not asked to share my opinions on this event, I just did so because it rocked my socks.  So there.

Oh, and another fyi…Momzshare is a networking group for local bloggers…they have an event in May that I may actually be able to attend…I suggest you come with!

The end.

In a galaxy far, far away…a Monday Mingle

Posted February 7, 2011 Life, Mom Media 6 Comments

It’s been so long since I’ve mingled…

Check it out, and if you want to join head over to Eighty MPH Mom and join us!

Thanks for sticking through that – my “sick” kid is something else…

PS: Please remind me not to upload my video’s in “mobile” quality. Duh.

PPS: More Healthy Foundations posts are on the horizon!

Confession: I Suck at Christmas Clean-up

Posted January 20, 2011 Life, Parenting 2 Comments

Confession: I am just now, nearly a month later, taking down my Christmas decorations.

Not because I couldn’t stand it anymore, not because I have an undying love for Christmas and I couldn’t let it go, but more because there will be a gaggle of girls here tomorrow at my Girl Scout meeting. Girls who stay stuff like, “my mom took down the decorations before New Years!” and “Why are you still celebrating Christmas?” and “What’s wrong with you people!?” I can take all of that, but my girl might not appreciate it so much. Plus she’d totally give me that “moooooooommmmmm, UGH!” look for embarrassing her. (Yes, at 8, my daughter already finds many situations in which I make her cringe. Lucky me.)

But more than that, there will be moms here as well. And I don’t want to be the talk of the town with my empty tree stand and the sparkly, verging on gaudy, Christmas lights out front. I think I have enough strikes against me than to add “that lady, who still has her lights out in February!”

So down they went.

And as if to prove a point as to how long they had been up, I found a dead stink bug, nestled in the faux garland.

Yes stink bug, you are right, the decorations have been up way too long. Thanks for pointing that out with your deadness.

(Silver lining? Since I was even more last-minute with putting them up, and decided to only put up a small amount due to said lateness, I have a lot less work now! See, being a last-minute mom really does pay off sometimes! Score.)

Last-minute might be me.

Posted August 17, 2010 Life, Parenting 2 Comments

Last-minute might be…

Doing laundry when you should already be packed…

Staying up til 2:30 to do said laundry (and, uhhh, maybe watching a smidgen of tv) when you need to leave at 9:30…

Packing at 9, because you are too damn tired to do it at 2:30…

Writing a blog post at 2:40 when you realize you haven’t written in a week and won’t get the chance for a few more days…

Turning off the alarm for 8, because really? The beach will still freaking be there when you get there an hour late.

All that might be last-minute-ish. Maybe.

Either way, I plan to embrace the last bit of last-minute-ness that I can before summer comes to an end and the regimented days of school begin.  So, it’s off to the beach!

But, maybe I should go to sleep first…