Posts Tagged ‘The mean wii guy can suck it’

Transformation Nation

Posted November 6, 2011 Fitness 2 Comments

 

I could really use a million dollars.  I could really use to lose 10% of my body weight.

So, with a deep sigh, but with elevated hopes of a great result, I’m turning to Dr. Oz.

 

 

(Side note before I go on – I’m sharing this just cause I want to.  Not because it’s “sponsored” or paid.  And not just because I think Dr. Oz has a fantastic name…even though he totally does.)

It’s pretty simple, really.  You take a health quiz (but woah nelly does Dr. Oz get all up in your personal business.  Cough*thereismentionofsex*Cough.) And you get a personalized report, fitness calendar, and place to track your progress.

Then you take 7 steps to not only qualify for the contest to win a million bucks, but to also get healthier.  Both of which would be lovely prizes.  (Imagine all the yoga classes I could sign up for! Gasp!  No really, I’m not being sarcastic this time.  I loves me some yoga.)

The steps include:

  1. Telling a friend.  (And if you are the “I enter into every social media contest I see” type, you’ll know that spamming just one of your friends isn’t too bad.  Heck, they might enter and win and you could strong arm them into a piece of the mil.  Score.)
  2. Weigh in.  This is the tricky part – you have to go to a Weight Watchers weigh-in to make it official.  You don’t have to stick around (but you can, for free, for one meeting) and you don’t have to pay any money.  You (I) just have to peel your (my) ass off the couch and go.
  3. Go get a check up.  I haven’t done this in just about forever.   HDL? LDL? Um, WTH?!  I guess I’d better go figure that out.
  4. Learn your family’s health history.  This is tricky if your family is the “don’t ask, don’t tell” type, but pry it out of them.
  5. Get more sleep.  Yes please.
  6. Assess your stress – take a quiz and get tips to lower it.  Sounds good.  Cause mama should probably have more means of dealing with it than reese’s peanut butter cups and margaritas.  I guess. If I have to.
  7. Take a quiz on your fitness level and get tips to get your ass in gear.  (I think I see Zumba in my future.)

You have lots of time to get these steps done.  To qualify for the prize you have to go down 10% of your body weight or get to a healthy bmi.  And they suggest you do it in 2 lbs/week increments.  Not crazy biggest-loser-style.  Amen.

I’m all in.  Will you join me?  If you do, and I win, I’ll be sure to throw a few bucks your way!

Maybe.

 

My Christmas Fitness Present

Posted November 18, 2010 Fitness 7 Comments

Howdy Partners! How y’all doin’?! Fitness wise, I mean…

Me? Not so good. And my motivation has gone out to pasture.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen any decent, long term loses. I’ve participated in challenges, I’ve worked out, but in the end, it’s just not working. And honestly, that just leads to this really awesome feeling of loathing and a fantastic loss of self-worth! Just want I want for Christmas! (Oh, I’m sorry. Did my drops of sarcasm hit you in your eye? My bad.)

I’m not really sure what to do about it. So, I’ll revert to my go-to health motto: fake it til you make it.

Do I want to eat healthy and not indulge in copious amounts of “holiday” food ever day? Nope. But I’ll fake it til I do.
Do I want to workout and feel like I have to get sweaty in order to have a great day? Nope. I’ll fake it til I do.
Do I want to throw my scale, my tight jeans and the stupid Wii Fit person who saids “Uh-Oh” out the window? YEP. But, I’ll fake like I don’t. For now. Unless that little guy in the wii gets anymore uppity, then it’s gonna be a smack down of epic proportions…

Holiday Hoedown Challenge

This brings me to all that country-fried talkin’ from up above. (OOPS…my bad, I mean country-FIED, not fried. No really, I wasn’t just thinking about fried food. Swear.) I’m joining The Sisterhood for the Holiday Hoedown – 5 weeks of fitness challenges and camaraderie in the attempt of not taking on the “Thanksgiving Thirteen.” What? That’s not a real thing? Oh, um…..anyway…..

Now, I have to tell you all (sorry, I mean “y’all”) what my goals are. This is a challenge for me in and of itself seeing as how I have absolutely no freaking clue. But, I think it’s best to not get all crazy and say I’m going to lose 15 pounds when we all damn well know it will be a miracle just to walk away from December with a loss.

On that note, this is my plan:

  • Workout.  I was going to say 5-6 times a week, but just right now, I decided I’m going to try something different.  I’m going to let my conscience do the talking.  If it says, “Hey, lazy ass, get up and do some squats…” then I will oblige.  If it says “Hey, sweet thang, sit down and take a load off, because you’ve been working hard…” then I’ll do that too.  (But, don’t worry, my conscience is a bitch, so I’m sure she’ll have me up & at ‘em.  The hooker.)
  • Make dinner, no soda in the house, and consume more water/fruit/veggies than humanly possible.  Or, at least, a lot.
  • Journal.  Not so much to count calories or points, but to get a feel for my “mood-to-hunger” ratio.  I think this will give me insight. I also plan on tracking workouts, and stress levels.  (And if that doesn’t teach me a thing, then I’ll go back to weight watchers.)

I’m not sure if this will result in a loss.  But honestly, right now I just need a win. I want to feel like I can do this.  So if I lose 8, 5, or 1 pound, then yay!  If I stay the same, then that’s fine too.  If I gain?  Well, I guess that’s okay as long as I gain some knowledge, but the wii guy will be walking with a limp.

I just want to walk away from these 5 weeks feeling like I can and will – not like it’s hopeless.  Cause right now…I’m faking it too much.  And it’s getting old.  And I don’t know if I can keep it up.  I think a little insight is the best Christmas present I can give myself at the moment.

Do you have a Christmas fitness present you want to give to yourself?  I’d love to hear it or your thoughts on my present.  Comment below!